Yesterday, Sept. 6 was the one year anniversary of Phil’s journey from his earthly home to his Heavenly home. In many ways it is hard to imagine it’s been a year but in other ways it feels so much longer.
This has been a troubled year, one of disfunction just struggling to find my way, where I belong, where God wants me, where to live, where to work? Still wondering how to fill this big cavern in my heart that Phil left. So, here I sit a year later with not one of these questions answered. The only thing I have come to know is that I don’t need to know any of these answers because God knows them and as long as I take one day at a time living in God’s presence I don’t need to know. So for today I am still in Kirkland in the same house. Phil’s mom is in a nursing home close by. Christopher is here with me working a good job. Erick is in Nashville doing good and gearing up for another year coaching at MPact and in a new apt. Trooper is in Hawaii working a good job and soaking up the sun. I’m missing my grandchildren who are back in Florida but know they are in God’s hands as well. I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow next week or next month but I know where ever I am I’ll be missing Phil but thanking the Lord everyday for my boys, grandchildren, family and the amazing friends I’ve been blessed with.
For those of you who know how hard it has been for me to make any decision this past year you will appreciate I did make one long term decision yesterday which is – Every September 6th you will be able to find me on a train going somewhere. This year I took the train from San Juan Capistrano to Seattle. I was blessed to have Jeanne Whitaker with me. No agenda, no pressure, just two days to reflect & relax with great fellowship and beautiful scenery. We had a sleeping car which included all our meals it was wonderful. Phil would of absolutely loved it! So each year on Sept. 6th Phil and I will be on a train traveling somewhere together.
My paraphrased verse for this next year from Luke 12:35
I will be dressed and ready for service. I will keep my lamp burning waiting for my master to direct His servant.